🎮 All your base

Video games' lost love ballad, Formula 1 for boats, and oh-so-much more...

Mornin’. As the great Dorothy Parker once wrote (in her poem “August,” natch), “Summer, do your worst!”

Because if you haven’t noticed, the slow creep of pumpkin spice onto grocery store shelves has already begun. Home Depot has replaced oscillating fans with 10-foot skeletons on its showroom floors. Summer’s “wrap it up” music is starting.

We can’t just give up on it now; there’s still some juice left in the old season. So enjoy these last few weeks before Labor Day weekend, taking in all that summer still has to offer (the good, the bad, and the worst) with a smile.

Because every time you eat something pumpkin spice-flavored in August, you hasten the annual thawing of The Mariah. And you better be sure you want to make that wish come true.

—Eric Alt, Andrew Nusca, Tim Leong, Marques Edge

Buffed/Nerfed

What’s up and down in the world rn.

Buffed: Your watch list. NASA announced that it will launch its own streaming channel later this year (to be called, of course, NASA+). It will have live launch coverage, special panel discussions, and, fingers crossed, intergalactic cooking shows.

Nerfed: Unlockable new planets. In more space news, scientists have an actual explanation (boo) for the mysterious question mark lurking in deep space. Unfortunately, it’s nowhere near as fun as “The Riddler joins the Green Lantern Corps” (sigh).

Buffed: The Mattel-a-verse. Construction is underway on a Mattel theme park in Arizona, featuring rides and attractions based on Hot Wheels, Thomas the Tank Engine, and, of course, global cinematic superstar Barbie. So far, no word on a real life Mojo Dojo Casa House.

Nerfed: Living cinema history. Director William Friedkin—whose filmography is one classic after another with the likes of The French Connection, The Exorcist, and Sorcerer—has passed away at the age of 87. RIP.

Buffed: Your Slack channel. It’s official, gifs aren’t just a way for you to harness the power of Mean Girls to express things you have trouble articulating verbally, they are now art! And they should still be pronounced with a hard “g” <ducks> —EA

A brief history: The endless power of 'Girl in the Tower'

Let’s go back.

A musical score is common in video games, but a guitar-heavy power ballad?

Introducing “Girl in the Tower,” a duet between Prince Alexander and Princess Cassima in 1992’s King’s Quest VI from Sierra. The tune was a fan-favorite addition to an already iconic game, receiving radio play and even generating a cover or two.

How did it all come about? Editor Tim Leong spoke with composer Mark Seibert to learn about the song’s creation.

Fire up your karaoke machine and read on.

Shameless plug: Mark your calendars for ‘Call of Duty: Modern Warfare III’

Photo courtesy of Activision Publishing

Call of Duty: Modern Warfare III is coming. And it’s coming soon.

Activision announced this week that the next chapter in the Modern Warfare saga will deploy on November 10, 2023. The reveal was accompanied by a cryptic message: “The ultimate threat awaits.”

What is this ultimate threat? Well, spoiler warning, but it refers to [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] and [redacted]. Right? Sounds ama—[transmission ended].

Extractor: When high-speed racing hits the open seas

Investigations of interest.

Sebastian Vettel, four-time Formula One champion and owner of Germany SailGP Team, at the wheel. (Photo courtesy of SailGP)

When you have the need for speed, you usually don’t picture a sailboat.

SailGP is looking to change all that.

Co-founded by Larry Ellison of Oracle Corp. fame, the global sailing league is gaining attention with its cutting-edge technology and the extreme velocity with which its vessels fly along the open water.

It’s enough to impress one of the elites from Formula One racing to join the team.

Contributing writer Bernie Wilson sits down with four-time Formula One champion Sebastian Vettel, who shares his experience of becoming co-owner of the Germany SailGP team and how it feels to take the wheel on the water.

Come aboard.

Wayback Wednesday

Is this truly a “Wayback” if we’re talking about events that are going to come to pass in A.D. 2101?

Well, about one hundred years before the ruthless (but unfailingly polite) villain known as “Cats” set up us the bomb, one of the earliest viral memes was born, setting the tone for what would become the nascent internet’s sense of humor for the next few decades.

Namely, finding something super obscure and obsessing about it, whether people got the original reference or not.

It seems some fans of the 1991 Namco game Zero Wing loved the opening cut scene—and the endearingly awkward Japanese-to-English translations—so much that they spent the early 2000s stomping in the new snow of the internet with random Photoshopped images containing the phrase “All your base are belong to us.” Eventually, these gifs and pics were collected against a pulsing EDM remix of the Zero Wing theme and an enduring legend was born.

A surprisingly poignant one, too. Because when you think about it, shouldn’t we all do our best to make our time? Ha. Ha. Ha., indeed, Cats.

Wormhole

Click the following image and…well, we don’t want to ruin the surprise.

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