🎮 School's out
Power up your wedding, how candy can net you $100K, and more...
Mornin’. “Karl Wallenda said it right/Walkin' a wire is the only life.” Juliana Hatfield sang these words in 1993, about a man born in 1905, whose great-grandson would become the first man to cross the Grand Canyon on a tightrope on this day in 2013.
What does it all mean?
Not sure. But how often do you get to combine acrobat trivia, ‘90s alt-rock lyrics, and “on this day” historical factoids in one? So we’re going for it.
It’s Friday. Loosen up. You want rules and order and meaning? Go talk to Monday.
—Marques Edge, Eric Alt, Andrew Nusca
Buffed/Nerfed
What’s up and down in the world rn.
Buffed: Filmfellas. Warner Bros. Discovery CEO David Zaslav floated plans to “restructure” Turner Classic Movies and earned himself a little talking to from Martin Scorsese, Steven Spielberg, and Paul Thomas Anderson. Hope he remembered his shine box.
Nerfed: Stonehenge tourist $$. After cornering the “iconic ruins” market since 2400 B.C., Stonehenge finally has some competition. Call it “Ston2henge.”
Buffed: The new Thompson Twins. Apologies to the ‘80s movie soundtrack icons, but the NBA Draft has a new pair—Amen and Ausar—poised to bust into the top 10.
Nerfed: Manifest destiny. Netflix rejiggered its viewership metrics, and it turns out that maybe the supernatural drama Manifest isn’t as popular as previously advertised. And Wednesday Addams vs. Eleven for the top spot? Someone grab the popcorn.
Buffed: Frankenuggets. The U.S. Agricultural Department has approved the production of lab-grown chicken. Get ready for wings big and strong enough to actually lift a buffalo.
Cheat Code: How to gamify your wedding
Change your game.
Who says a destination wedding has to involve a trip to the airport?
The hot new thing in wedding planning—besides, um, planning weddings after a few years of pent-up pandemic demand—is celebrating in the virtual world. (Yes, really.)
Contributing writer Aron Grast spoke with couples who bypassed in-person nuptials and instead invited faraway friends and family to battle a Kraken or drain NBA threes in the name of love.
Care to crash the party? Lock it up and read on.
Speed Run: Victory is sweet for this Candy Crush champion
Two-minute talks with today’s movers and shakers.
A Verizon employee who played Candy Crush to cope with his hour-long train commute—both ways—from Long Island to Manhattan, Jay S. is as surprised as you are that his skills turned into cold, hard cash.
Executive editor Eric Alt caught up with the newly-minted 2023 Candy Crush All-Stars champion to discover more about his journey to the London finals, what he loves about gaming, and, of course, what he plans to do with the $100,000 prize.
Fun Fact Friday
When he wrote the summer vacation anthem “School’s Out” in 1972, Alice Cooper told Rolling Stone that he was inspired by one of the two most exciting moments in a kid’s life: the anticipation of Christmas morning and the three minutes before the final school bell of the year.
It’s true. We love summer break. But where did it start?
It’s been said that summer vacation has its origins in what Time once called “a legacy of the farm economy.” But why would kids be needed to pitch in on the farm in the summer? Aren’t the two biggest times of year the planting (in the spring) and the harvesting (in the fall)?
As it turns out, it was city slickers who started summer vacation—by simply refusing to show up. In the 19th century, school attendance wasn’t mandatory, so when the heat turned up and cities became giant metal-and-asphalt ovens…families got the hell out of Dodge seeking cooler climates (or at least shade).
So the schools decided, “Welp, we’d better give them these months off, ‘cause they’re not gonna show up anyway.”
“Out for summer, out 'til fall/We might not come back at all…”
Wormhole
Click the following image and…well, we don’t want to ruin the surprise.
Share the ABK Edit
Share this newsletter with your friends. C’mon, they’ll love it.